On How to Tell If You’re Experiencing Grief Due to COVID-19
By Guest Blogger Shannon Heers
One minute you were feeling ok, then boom, all of the sudden it hits you. What is this world coming to?? Is the pandemic, the shutting down of everyone’s lives, the lost income and widespread unemployment, for real? And oh my gosh, how are others dealing with this? How about those people/families/workers that have lost so much? How are they even coping and managing to live their lives right now? These are heavy questions, but ones that so many of you are asking yourself during COVID-19. What an unprecedented sense of loss for you, and for everyone else. What you are feeling may be grief.
Identify What You Have Lost
What have you lost during the coronavirus pandemic? Loss of a friend, colleague or family member is a very real threat, and most of us know at least one person who has died or been affected by COVID-19, but there are many other losses that you may have experienced that are not so easy to identify. Perhaps you’ve lost your routine and sense of safety. Or your freedom to go where you want, when you want. Loss of planned vacations, family get-togethers, even birthday celebrations can all add up and start having an impact on how you are feeling. Write out a list of all the things that you have lost over the past several months to fully understand the impact of your unique losses.
“Grief is our mind and body’s natural reaction to a loss. There is nothing abnormal about grief...To ignore what is going on in your mind, and how your body is being affected, is to ignore the reality of your situation.”
What Are You Feeling?
The cumulative effect of multiple losses can come out in our emotions, our behaviors, and our actions. Try to identify how each of your losses impacts you. Are you sad? Angry? Resigned? All of these emotions are entirely normal to have when you are grieving a loss, or multiple losses. Once you take the time to identify what is going on within yourself, then sit with that emotion for a bit and explore it from every angle. Where did it come from, and is there something else contributing to that emotion too? Learning about how you are feeling will help you get through your loss(es).
What is Grief?
Grief is our mind and body’s natural reaction to a loss. There is nothing abnormal about grief. The pain and challenging emotions that you are feeling are very normal. These deep feelings will help you process your grief and be able to continue living your life after your loss(es). To ignore what is going on in your mind, and how your body is being affected, is to ignore the reality of your situation. This pandemic is causing untold number of losses, that everyone is experiencing, and it is unrealistic to think that only you, out of everyone in the world, will be spared from grief.
What Do I Do Next?
You’ve already made a list of all of your losses, and you’ve sat with your emotions without judging them. Next is to continue with that process for awhile, until you’re able to start seeing the other side of the mountain, or how to go on to live your most fulfilled life in spite of your losses. Yes, you have lost a lot. What have you gained? What are the opportunities that you’ve experienced as a result of COVID-19? What are you grateful for, how have you re-balanced your life, or what new things/projects have you started? Realizing what you do have to live for will help you get through your grief.
Grief during this pandemic is common and understandable. With so many losses that you have experienced, of course you’re grieving! Taking the time to be sad, or down, or angry, or in pain, will only help you get through your grief process. Check out our grief and bereavement page to help you more fully understand your own grief process. What you’re feeling and experiencing right now may very likely be your own grief talking, and it is possible to heal from your grief while acknowledging your losses.
About the Author:
Shannon Heers is a psychotherapist, guest blogger, and owner of a group practice Catalyss Counseling in Englewood, CO. Shannon works with professionals, parents, and postpartum moms manage stress, tame anxiety, and process grief. Follow Catalyss Counseling on Facebook and Instagram.