On Using Yoga and Movement to Stop Being Busy & Feel More Connected to Your Partner
We spend a great deal of time in our everyday routines primarily living in our heads. We think about the work tasks that need to get done before a deadline, to all the responsibilities we carry in our family, to what we need to get at the grocery store, so it's safe to say that we all have an endless to-do list playing constantly in the back of our minds. This works to our advantage, of-course. Having an understanding of what we need to accomplish activates that executive-functioning part of our brain and kicks action-oriented behaviors into gear. The outcome? We get things done! We feel good when we check off our to-do’s, but all that doing and being in our heads can come at the cost of connecting and being with our bodies.
we need to stop with busying and start embodying
When we spend so much time doing, meaningfully being in our bodies gets sacrificed. We may go all day focused on the tasks that need to be done, and spend little to no time paying attention to our bodies and how they help us to authentically connect with our partner(s), friends, and loved ones. It’s not because we don’t want to, but for several reasons due to limited resources, or limited time, we don’t take time to check in with our bodies. This is concerning because our bodies help us understand our environment and our relationships--they let us know when we need to worry about our partnership or when we’re feeling really connected and satisfied. If we could just spend some time connecting to both our bodies and those we care about, in ways that are less about doing and more about being with, I imagine our days filled with fulfillment, play, and care.
This past week, I took a planned break from doing and encouraged my partner to try this series of easy at-home yoga exercises for partners with me. I certainly wish I could write that this was a spontaneous idea I had…but planning a break in my day really goes such a long way. Do you engage in movement with your partner? What kinds of practices do you do together to get to share in connecting through embodiment? We found this exercise therapeutic and resourceful and felt much more connected after sharing this experience with each other. I want to invite you to try out the above series of yoga poses from Evolve with your partner (or any other human) and pay attention to how it shapes you feeling present and connected with each other. Here is a little of what I learned and appreciated in how moving together helped my partner and i connect:
laughter is healing.
My partner and I hadn’t laughed all day and within 30 seconds, we found ourselves giggling our way through the yoga poses together. Laughter is one of our main sources of connection and I found myself letting go of worries and all anticipations in those moments.
playful collaboration is key.
When the yoga poses became more challenging, we checked in with each other and made a plan for how to best experience the stretch. These yoga poses invited us to have to practice more direct communication in order to collaborate on how we could best support each other in the pose. This got me thinking that in general, when life becomes challenging, continuing to create opportunities for more playful collaboration is essential for us as human beings--both in order to get things done as well as to feel more supported in our lives.
patience promotes understanding.
The disagreements we had about the mundane, little details in the exercise encouraged us to work through our differences and be clearer about our unique ways of seeing the pose. We had to practice being patient and curious with each other to better understand where the other person was coming from. Even when we are in completely different places in life (as we so often are) a little patience can truly go such a long way in feeling more connected and satiated by our relationships.
mindful moments shared together are so important.
Lying in savasana together at the end of our yoga series allowed us to fully take in the experience and meaningfully pause from all of our regular “doing.” I wonder how much more ease in our days we could have if we stopped to rest more? I wonder how much more connected we would feel to each other if we stopped to rest more together?
Getting our bodies moving through a connecting experience like the one above, can at least give us and our partners a break from being in our heads, and at most, a moment to pause and connect in our bodies to one another. I invite you to take some needed time to use movement as a way to connect. If you can, reflect on your experience and jot down or journal some of your thoughts and reflection. Surely, my reflections have been less about the poses and more about my experience in relation to life with my partner, but I’d like to think that is the gift that movement can bring to us all. So if you plan or spontaneously go about your breaks, I encourage you to fill your days with more moments of connecting in partnership through movement!
Gaby Ramos is passionate about the process of becoming and knowing oneself and she believes that as our self awareness increases, the quality of our communication improves; fostering self-esteem, confidence, and resiliency in our relationships. She is mindful of the unfolding process in the present moment and take a gentle yet active approach in helping individuals recognize and embrace a genuine experience of self. As you collaborate, she will support and help guide you in being an embodied participant of your present emotions.
Gaby brings her inherent values of cultural awareness and diversity to the room with her. She works from a relational, culturally sensitive, and embodied perspective. As a highly sensitive person and former national and international professional performer, she strongly enjoys helping individuals access their creative potentials.
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