On What I’ve Learned As a Business Owner With Chronic Illness
So this will get personal, folks… Let’s start with a quick bit of background. I honestly don’t know that I have had the experience of what a “normal” body is supposed to feel like; how things are supposed to work; or how our internal systems are “meant” to function.
For as long as I can remember, I have had some kind of illness/abnormal symptoms in my body. I have seen the ins-and-outs of more doctor’s offices and hospitals than I ever could have imagined possible and have become so well-read about different symptomatology, diagnoses, and treatments that my family members all joke that “you’re the family doctor now.”
Over my chronic illness journey, I have collected over 12 different medical diagnoses (most have stuck!) and every year or two it seems that I’m forced to learn about something new. After being “sick” for 25 years, this is the first year that I have more fully embraced chronic illness as an identity and begun to think about my embodied experience as "disabled." I've also been thinking more about what it means to be a business owner with chronic illness and have been connecting with gratitude for the supports and tools that critically help me along the way.
the challenges and rewards of owning a business with a chronic illness
There are many challenges and rewards to owning a business with a chronic illness. First and foremost, owning a business can provide a sense of freedom and self-confidence for those with chronic illnesses. Being your own boss provides flexibility — you set your own hours and only you determine how many tasks you take on. It also means having agency and autonomy — you don't have to worry about bosses managing you and having unrealistic expectations of you, and you are completely in control of what kind of work you spend your energy on. For us spoonies, feeling in control and having agency can be very hard to come by as we are too often feeling vulnerable to our symptoms and having to navigate the medical system that so often doesn't support us. Honestly, feeling fully in charge of myself in my professional life is a major draw!
Additionally, business owners with chronic illnesses can often be more innovative and creative due to the unique challenges that come with the conditions we have to navigate. Managing a chronic illness means being adaptable, spontaneous, and finding outside-the-box ways to access resilience during unforeseen and challenging times — sounds like a pretty effective business owner, am I right? There are a lot of reasons why it can be supportive to own your own business; why as a fellow spoonie, you might be really good at it; AND to put it bluntly, it's really f*#king hard!
Having chronic illness can be a challenging experience to manage, period. However, with enough support and resources, you can successfully run a business and get to have some of the rewards I mentioned. Below I've outlined some of the helpful lessons I've learned that make it possible for me to do this everyday, in the hopes that it helps you, fellow chronic illness boss (now named Bosspoonie?!), to do the same. After all, an integral part of a thriving life with chronic illness is being in community with others and sharing resources!
five tips for thriving as a business owner with chronic illness
1. Get Supportive Relationships
If I could give you only one tip, it would be to build supportive relationships. As a relational therapist, I'm obviously biased towards relationships, but as a human I'd still suggest this one time and time again. In fact, this tip isn't just for you as a fellow Bosspoonie, it's really for any business owners, and any humans at that. Turns out, we can't really achieve much without loving, supportive relationships that nurture us, pick us up when we fall or fail, rub our backs when we've had a long day, remind us to take care of ourselves, and more! Did you know that as social creatures we're really not meant to be okay without this?
Personally, I can't imagine co-running Kindman & Co. without the incredible collaboration and care of my life/business partner, love and encouragement from my friends and family, and the supportive relationships that I've built with the amazing people on our team!
10/10 would recommend making sure you have people in your corner BEFORE starting a business.
2. Let Go: Delegate & Automate
As a recovering "if-I-want-it-done-right-I'll-do-it-myself-er," one of the most challenging parts of being a business owner has been letting go. Letting go of control, letting go of specific visions I had, letting go of always getting to "do it my way." I've (begrudgingly) learned to trade those individualistic comforts for instead, letting go of significant stress and overwhelm, letting go of staying up super late working, and letting go of feeling alone and under-supported.
An essential part of managing living with chronic illness is always having to consider "how many spoons do I have?" And unfortunately, so many chronic illness diagnoses have fatigue/low energy as one of the primary symptoms! A cruel joke for a start-up business owner, ha! I honestly can't imagine being 3.5 years into our practice and growing it as we have, without all of the systems that we have come to fully depend on. If I had continued to try to do my half of running the business without delegating and creating systems, I would have completely burnt out and been in utter nervous system shutdown. Oof! That feels scary just to think about.
I can't encourage you enough to think about ways that you can offload some of your regular tasks. Who can you lean on to help you run your business? What software, systems, automations, can you put into place to do some of the work for you? (Shout out to Amanda — our Care Coordinator, Google Workspace, and Gusto for making this so much easier for us!) What are the tasks that you really enjoy--how can you start to prioritize using your spoons for those and delegating the rest? Don't delay, start letting go now...you'll thank me later.
3. Maintain Your Wellbeing
This one feels pretty obvious for us Chronic Illness folks, but it must be said. So here goes for good measure: "You MUST maintain your wellbeing. You MUST prioritize your health. You MUST take care of yourself."
Carve out time to manage your health through essential doctor's visits, tests, pharmacy runs, etc. And also carve out time to nourish your health — walk in nature, take movement classes, schedule coffee dates with friends, eat delicious food, snuggle with your loved ones and pets. All of these are essential to maintaining your wellbeing. Note to Self: There will always be more work to be done and more tasks that need finishing--such is the life of a small business owner. But, care for your wellbeing anyway?
4. Seek Therapy
Again, biased. But therapy really does work. I can't imagine charting the journey of having challenging symptoms, getting diagnosed, trying to manage said challenging symptoms, learning to try to have a life, having unplanned experiences arise, and building/managing a business alone. And I wouldn't recommend it. It feels really nice to know that you have someone in your corner and their job is to be fully present with you for whatever it is that you're going through. Business ownership and chronic illness are both bumpy journeys. If you are able to access it, a compassionate therapist can really help.
5. Rest. Slow Down. Make Adjustments as Needed.
It’s incredibly hard and taxing to run your own business. It may be even harder to tell yourself that you need a break or to slow down. At least for me, part of learning to manage my chronic illnesses has been learning to preemptively rest. Yes, preemptively. Like not waiting for your body to go into full system shutdown where all of the alarm bells are ringing, sirens are blaring, and lights are flashing, but instead, forcing yourself to take a break before that happens. It's hard because we tend to be used to recognizing our symptoms as indicators of needing additional care and that's when we start paying more attention. What I'm talking about is holding the belief that: "I know that I need to rest (to maintain my wellbeing). I know that if I don't take a break, I will go into “System: Haywire." And then letting this belief guide how you structure your days and what you take on.
Also, That Spoonie Life means a lot of interruptions and unplanned circumstances. For me, the only way to navigate these moments is to adjust accordingly. Reschedule my plans and sessions as needed. Take a lot of anticipated tasks off my to-do list and substantially lighten my load. Work a half-day. At the end of the day, I truly suffer more when I try to fight against making adjustments and accommodations and the amount of rest and rejuvenation I will need to manage symptoms is ultimately much greater.
Trust me, I know just how frustrating it can be to come up against our limitations--the ways our body spontaneously seems to "fail" us at the most perfectly wrong moment, feeling like we can't do as much our peers and colleagues can, the anxiety, depression, and frustration of our circumstances. I also know how compelling it can be to try to push through our limitations and how strong the want to perform at the same level of others can be. (Shout out to our capitalistic, high-productivity, hustle culture for making us feel like not enough, no matter how much we're actually doing. Gee, thanks.) It's not fair that we Bosspoonies often feel more limited and have to be more mindful of allotting our energy, but we do. And honestly, it feels really good and empowering to know what you need and decide to actually give it to yourself. Really. Try it. I like to think of it as an act of resistance, a big, "Fuck You!" to hyperproductivity culture and that makes me smile.
If you’re looking for more support and guidance as a business owner, book an info session to learn about our business consulting services.
Kaitlin Kindman, is a co-founder of Kindman & Co., an activist, and a feminist. Her purpose is to help her clients come to believe that they are not alone, they belong, AND they inspire—they have the power to bring about change. She works with her clients to feel more connected, so that they take actions that improve their relationships and the world.
Kaitlin is deeply committed to providing socially just and anti-oppressive therapy. She really loves working with couples to improve their relationships and deepen intimacy, with other therapists and healers, as well as entrepreneurs and other business owners. Kaitlin finds true enjoyment in cuddling with animals, a just-right temperature cup of tea, feeling the sun on her face, and dancing in supermarket aisles.
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We are here for your diverse counseling needs. Our team of therapists provides lgbtqia+ affirmative therapy, couples therapy & premarital counseling, grief & loss counseling, group therapy, and more. We have specialists in trauma, women's issues, depression & anxiety, substance use, mindfulness & embodiment, and support for creatives. For therapists and practice owners, we also provide consultation and supervision services! We look forward to welcoming you for therapy in Highland Park and online.