On Highly Sensitive People & Overcoming Feeling Misunderstood
Have you been told that you’re “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” or “too easily overwhelmed?” Do you regularly find yourself feeling misunderstood or wondering how you can overcome your sensitivity? I know I have! Many of us understand the tenderness that comes with being an empath, but don’t necessarily understand that fifteen to twenty percent of humans actually have different neurobiology and sensory processing capabilities that make us feel more emotionally and physically. We Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) are highly in tune with our environments and this can help us to be in awe of people, beauty, and the world around us, but it can also feel like an affliction.
Thanks to Gaby Ramos, one of our fabulous therapists, who sat down with me to have a brief chat about some common challenges that HSPs encounter and offer us some quick and easy mindfulness tips to go from feeling overwhelmed and misunderstood to confident and seen.
KK: Gaby, can you tell us a little bit about working with highly sensitive people and some common challenges?
GR: I identify as a highly sensitive person and I think that across the board, what I hear frequently is that we're often misunderstood. Our trait is relatively unknown and our experiences can make us feel like we don’t belong. I think that's one of the biggest challenges that highly sensitive people have.
KK: Feeling different or other is incredibly painful. I have definitely heard a lot of stories around a lack of belonging, and know it for myself as an HSP as well. What are one or two tips that you would recommend for how people can find more belonging and navigate the highly sensitive trait?
GR: I think there's a core piece of falling into a self-critical cycle, because we're feeling so misunderstood and we're feeling like we don’t belong. We tend to kind of turn inward and feel really pretty threatened by the environment and unsafe. And I think that’s where it starts—is trying to find that safety in ourselves. Practicing mindful and grounding techniques has been really helpful for me to continue going inward but in a really safe space. I think that that is, as long as it's something that we practice and that we're mindful about, it can be really, really beneficial for HSPs.
KK: Can you give our readers one example of a helpful mindfulness exercise?
GR: Yeah, I’ve shared this with you. It's helpful for me to tune into some kind of recording or music that's really calming. I find the ocean waves really calming for me. In moments of stress, I find myself kind of going back to those mindful techniques and go ahead and close my eyes.
I think about the ocean waves. I'll think about how calm the waves are and I'll visualize the ocean breeze and the sun hitting my face. It seems really easy and I think it can be, and it can be really helpful when we feel those moments of stress, to go to those safe spaces and close our eyes for five to ten minutes and try to find that inner peace.
KK: Absolutely. That's something that all of us can do, right? We all have some safe space—maybe in nature or at the beach? And to take a moment and visualize it and connect with it with all of our senses to ground and soother our nervous system. And as HSPs our nervous system can easily feel really on fire or feel very wild. So Gaby, you’re gearing up right now to put a group together for HSPs, the HSP Empowerment Group. What would you say one of the key benefits for people who joined your group would be?
GR: I think it's really helpful to be around people who share our temperament and share similar experiences. I think it's so validating to share in community and in a space where we can feel seen, heard and understood. And I get so excited about this topic because I think it's been really groundbreaking for me to be in environments where I'm really validated, where I feel really seen and heard. We get a chance to not only share our experiences, but to also learn more about our trait and learn other grounding and mindful tips to help regulate and soothe our nervous system when it feels like it's on fire.
As Gaby mentioned, one of the most challenging aspects of being an HSP is feeling like so many people don’t get our experience or misunderstand our intentions. The first step is to learn more about caring for ourselves and managing our nervous systems to connect more to being in our power. Then we NEED community—to be with other people who get it.
If these challenges resonate with you and you’re needing support, check out our therapy services for Highly Sensitive People and empaths. You can also read our next blog in this series about Navigating Change and Making Decisions as a Highly Sensitive Person.