On Things You Might Not Know About Your Therapist…But Have Always Wanted To
Look, we know that therapy clients wonder about their therapists. Questions like“Who are you in your personal life?” “What kind of emotional struggles have you navigated?” “What do you do for fun?” “Who did you vote for?!” are only natural! We wonder about all of these things with our therapists too! (Yes, we go to therapy too. See number 2 below).
I asked my dear friends and associates at Kindman & Co. about what are some of the most important things for you to know about who we are? Here’s what we came up with:
1. First and foremost—therapists are messy as fuck. (We’re Human!!!)
At Kindman and Co., one of the biggest things we like to tell people is that we are human too. Who knew, right?! If you have ever sat down with your therapist and thought that they have their shit all figured out, you are in for a rude awakening, my friend. Our humanness makes us just as susceptible to imperfections, heartache, indecision, insecurity, stress, and more; we feel it too.
2. therapists go to therapy too!
We are therapists because we believe in therapy. Many of us have become therapists because we have had such supportive, integral experiences in our own therapy and have learned firsthand how life-affirming the experience can be. Side note: I’ve had so many clients ask me if I talk about them in therapy. The answer is always no. I’ve got my own shit to talk about!!
3. We fill up in different ways…and we too can feel challenged to prioritize our self-care.
We ask you how you are prioritizing your own self-care, not to sound like your parent, but because we know ourselves that it can be really hard to do. When we do get our self-care in, we are each doing different things that nourish and restore us. At Kindman & Co., one of us is a professional dancer and live performer. Another one of us is a hiker/rock climber. Together, we are a reader, a movie-watcher, a charcuterie board extraordinaire, a master crafter and a singer.
4. We have been through some shit…and we are STILL working through some shit.
Each of us has been through our own struggle and are constantly working through our own difficulties (refer back to #1 and #2). If you’re curious about your therapist’s experiences and challenges, ask them. There is a reason we do the work that we do. As relational therapists, we are happy to share a little bit of insight on our own lives as we believe that it’s important for you to know a little about who we are and what we’ve been through to help you feel safe.
5. Sometimes we suck at communicating, boundary setting and saying no too. (Our relationships aren’t perfect.)
We know this is so much easier said than done. This stuff is hard! Please see #3 & #4…Developing boundary setting and communication skills are ongoing practices. Just like going to the gym, we continue to have to challenge ourselves, muster up the motivation to do so, and sometimes just want to skip because it just. feels. too. hard. Despite knowing how important and life-improving these skills are, we are still humans and consistently need to work on improving them and maintaining connection in our relationships.
6. We may be struggling with the exact same thing you are in that moment…AND we can still help.
We know how to help because helping is really all about sitting with you in your moments of distress and getting it. We aren’t advice givers. We are feelers. We are witnessers. We want to connect with the way that you are feeling in the moment, AND for you to not feel alone in doing so. We know that this is where true healing is found; we know because we’ve experienced it ourselves.
7. Sometimes we get really tired of talking.
This one is about our outside life. When we get home after a day of 5 sessions with our (amazing) clients, we don’t always want to talk to our partners/family/friends/roommates. We need our alone time to recharge. My parents often call me (Gaby T) “the grinch” after a long day. Little do they know, that’s a COMPLIMENT.
8. We aren’t experts on you.
We think it is so important for you to know that no one knows you better than YOU. We sure as hell don’t know everything! And we reject the idea of classic therapy that we know something you don’t and our job is to drop wisdom bombs. Instead, we believe that our job is to walk alongside you and help you develop and hone your own expertise—to help you instill more self-confidence and trust in yourself. An important distinction about therapists that often sets us apart is that we are so willing and wanting to learn from you. Therapy is a meaningful, intimate relationship where we both learn from one another and therefore help each other grow. We take something that we have learned from each of you and carry it with us even after our work together has come to a close.
9. We wish we could be friends, too.
Let’s face it. Our clients are super cool. It’s pretty fantastic that most of the clients we fit well with are so often clients that we feel incredibly connected to. We too have fantasies about what it would be like if we were friends and if we had met under different circumstances where our relationship could look different. If you have felt this way about your therapist, the feeling is mutual!
10. We think about you in between sessions.
We aren’t robots! Our clients get really deep with us and we are often left feeling something for you or wondering about how you are doing in between sessions. Sometimes we know our clients are going through something really difficult during the week. Other times we know that our clients have very exciting, celebratory experiences happening. We don’t forget about it. We’re thinking about you and we wish you well through those times.
There is so much more we think you should know. We hope this is a start. If you have questions about your therapist, ask them! We pride ourselves on creating meaningful and vulnerable ways to connect with you.
Gaby Teresa is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, Latina/mixed raced, social justice-oriented, and exceptionally curious. She works with individuals, intimate relationships, and families. She is passionate about supporting undocumented immigrants, Latinx, & BIPOC folks to explore and unpack the harms of systemic oppression & white supremacy and move towards individual and collective healing from racial trauma.
From a Health at Every Size perspective, Gaby challenges fat phobic narratives and helps people adopt amore loving relationships with their bodies by promoting body diversity and dismantling the “thin ideal.”Overall, Gaby is proud to be another messy human walking alongside you, helping you to build tools and relationships that better support you and ensure that you get your relational needs met.
GET HELP NOW
If you are interested in therapy with Kindman & Co. and would like to learn more about the services we have to help you, follow these quick & easy steps:
Schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation with our Care Coordinator.
Get matched with the therapist who’s right for you.
Start feeling more supported and fulfilled in your life and relationships!
THERAPY SERVICES AT KINDMAN & CO.
We are here for your diverse counseling needs. Our team of therapists provides lgbtqia+ affirmative therapy, couples therapy & premarital counseling, grief & loss counseling, group therapy, and more. We have specialists in trauma, women's issues, depression & anxiety, substance use, mindfulness & embodiment, and therapy for therapists. For therapists and practice owners, we also provide consultation and supervision services! We look forward to welcoming you for therapy in Highland Park and online.