On Why Transitions are So Hard & How to Find Peace Within Them
I admire people who embrace transitions like warriors. Who tunnel-vision their way through the steadfast changes in front of them, and don’t look back. In fact, I sometimes wish I could be like a warrior, always ready for battle and willing to be on the front lines of whatever comes your way.
But I, myself, am not a warrior. I am actually the opposite. I am what the French, peace campaigner Emile Arnaud coined, a pacifist; someone who is opposed to war or violence of any kind. And, perhaps, that is why transitions are so difficult for me. Transitions feel like a war in my mind—the future feels so uncertain, disruptive, and anxiety-provoking, and yet, I hold so much responsibility for my every move.
why transitions can feel so difficult
When we think about transitional periods of our lives, we immediately identify and remember significant experiences we’ve navigated, like a major milestone in our personal life or career, a deep loss, or a time when we experienced something deeply traumatic. All of these experiences have two things in common: our lives were never the same, and we evolved. No matter how seemingly positive the transition was, I bet challenges and uncomfortable feelings accompanied it. Because here is what happens when we go through transitions: our old skin sheds to the point of discomfort so that we can begin to feel alive in our new self. Oh, and the old skin? It sheds slowly! But the shedding process, despite happening at a snail’s pace, helps to remind us of where or how we once were—essentially where we are coming from. Taking time to acknowledge this and to pay attention to how we have blossomed over time helps to highlight all of the beautiful, imperfect possibilities of change.
And change is inevitable.
“you shouldn’t and were never meant to go through life’s journey alone. ”
five tips for feeling more at ease during a transition
If you’re navigating a transition or big change right now, here are some reminders to help you do so with more ease and peace:
Listen to your body
Your body (your nervous system) will have several visceral reactions to the change that it is anticipating: Care for it, voice it, embrace it. Trust your embodied instinct and its ability to support you. Whatever you do, don’t ignore your body’s wisdom in communicating its needs.
connect with your support system
Get real honest with yourself about the resources you have! This may be a perfect opportunity to lean on (or find new) support systems. Remember: you shouldn’t and were never meant to go through life’s journey alone.
feel it to heal it
Stay rooted and grounded in your experience - whatever it is, it’s valid. Anything that may be arising for you is a direct effect of your environment in combination with your inner processing. This is an opportunity for you to build trust with yourself by welcoming the feelings, sensations, thoughts you’re experiencing. Tend to them.
slow down
Pause and give yourself time. Time to rest, time to relax, time to quiet the chaos. If you are anything like me, my internalized sense of urgency makes relaxing and resting So. Damn. Hard. But the brain likes repetition, and it will soon learn this makes you feel energized and supports your overall wellbeing!
recognize and appreciate uncertainty
Be gentle with your willingness to embrace the unknown. This is really tough stuff! As meaning makers, we want to predict, confirm, and understand our experiences as fully as possible. Navigating a transition period, we often don’t know what is going to happen and that invites fear, anxiety, and worry. Try to reaffirm yourself and really feel into all of the complex emotions of this. You are, afterall, human. And to be human is to evolve.
Whatever you’re navigating right now, find people to be with you in the change. Try to embrace uncertainty and be curious about what’s on the other side of this moment in time. Whether you identify as a warrior or a pacifist, you got this.
Gaby Ramos is passionate about the process of becoming and knowing oneself and she believes that as our self awareness increases, the quality of our communication improves; fostering self-esteem, confidence, and resiliency in our relationships. She is mindful of the unfolding process in the present moment and take a gentle yet active approach in helping individuals recognize and embrace a genuine experience of self. As you collaborate, she will support and help guide you in being an embodied participant of your present emotions.
Gaby brings her inherent values of cultural awareness and diversity to the room with her. She works from a relational, culturally sensitive, and embodied perspective. As a highly sensitive person and former national and international professional performer, she strongly enjoys helping individuals access their creative potentials.
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