On Why Self-Care Needs to Include Rest
what is self-care?
What do you think of when you hear the term self-care? Does it conjure a comprehensive list of expensive, wellness activities portrayed everywhere in our society? If hearing self-care makes you think of massages, bath bombs, traveling, and completing personal bucket and/or ‘to do’ list items, you are not alone.
In American culture, our world is extremely fast-paced and goal-oriented. We are constantly bombarded with advertisements and conversations around actively doing any sort of task—leaving us to feel incompetent or even to go as far as labeling ourselves as “failures,” if we aren’t constantly engaging in varied forms of activity.
the importance of doing nothing
I’m here to say that doing nothing, yes, absolutely nothing, is also a form of self-care. In fact, it’s an essential one. I know it may be a difficult concept to fathom (trust me, it was for me too!), but doing nothing at all gives our bodies the chance to rest and restore our energy. We regularly use so much physical and emotional energy to fulfill the myriad of tasks required in the various roles that we occupy, but we struggle to find and create time to restore this energy. I know exactly what you’re probably thinking: “Well if I don’t do anything, how will I ever get my massage?” That is what you were wondering, right?! My answer to that question is, you will! I’m not saying that you can never engage in any self-care activities that you’re interested in, but inviting you to ensure that you are prioritizing opportunities for rest and recuperation that help your body to restore itself. Doing so will not only make you enjoy that coveted massage so much more, but will also decrease the likelihood of burnout and exhaustion, which have become much more prevalent over the last year and a half of a global pandemic, civil uprisings, and lack of social interaction.
“Rest and rejuvenation are critically essential for us to successfully function as humans.”
Doing nothing provides us with the space to not be consumed by any distractions, and orient our brain to explore our creativity, quirks, and talents. Additionally, you’ll feel more well-rested, which will provide the energy needed to complete those personal goals that often end up continuously put off and delayed. The most important outcome of orienting ourselves towards doing nothing, is the ability to feel happier. We feel happier when we rest because focusing on our own personal recharge teaches us that we can adequately care for ourselves and leaves us feeling nourished and fulfilled.
Do you remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare? The Tortoise was being ridiculed by the Hare due to the Tortoise’s slow gait. Yet the Tortoise ultimately ends up winning the race because it focused on crossing the finish line on it’s own (slow-and-steady) terms, rather than the rushed parameters the Hare assigned to the race. This is just the same as with self-care. When we solely focus on the ‘doing’ aspect of self-care, all of the activities we are meant to be engaging in to adequately be proactively caring for ourselves, we don’t afford our body the ability to rejuvenate itself. Plus, making exhaustive lists of self-care activities we should be doing can lead to moments that end up feeling quite similar to another job or task on the to-do list that hangs over you. We have to slow down and hit pause. Rest and rejuvenation are critically essential for us to successfully function as humans. We each need to work to cultivate the sage wisdom of the Tortoise—becoming comfortable with a slower pace, our bodies, loved ones, and most importantly, ourselves,
self-care exercise for prioritizing rest
Have you scheduled a self-care day for yourself soon? If not, let’s start there! First pick a day within the next few weeks to dedicate to caring for YOU. If you already have something like this planned, think about how you hope to spend your day. What feels exciting to think about doing just for you? What sounds relaxing, nourishing, and rejuvenating. Pay close attention to any tendency to make lists and/or activities that might actually move you away from rest. Do your best to lessen the day’s “must-dos” and plans (even the massage!) to ensure that you’re receiving plenty of rest. Take this as an invitation to slow down—Your body, soul, and mind will be immensely grateful for it.
Chitra Wiltshire is an Associate Clinical Social Worker, mother, and proud empath. Chitra works with individuals, families, and partners to feel more empowered and connected in their relationships. Chitra is especially interested in working with BIPOC folx to heal from racial trauma and oppression as well as new parents and mothers navigating postpartum depression. Chitra is dedicated to creating inclusive spaces that focus on building a safe therapeutic relationship where clients feel supported to explore all intersections of their identity. As a woman of color who has personally navigated racial trauma, Chitra understands how essential it is to feel seen and heard.