New Year, Same Pandemic
New Year’s Eve is my favorite holiday but not for the whole “new year, new me” fresh start kind of reasons. I live for shared moments and wholesome connection. Entire time zones stay up until midnight to count down 10 seconds to ring in the new year. Yes, my favorite holiday boils down to a 10 second shared experience ending with cheering, laughter, hugs, and kisses… a therapist’s dream come true. But this year? I think slogans like, “new year, new strain” or “new year, same anxiety” might be more appropriate. How are we supposed to move forward and set intentions, resolutions, or goals for the new year when travel, gatherings, events, and social life are cancelled? If you’re looking for a blog post with answers, this is not it. This is a piece on reflection and validation.
what stage of grief are you in today?
Let’s play a game I like to call “What stage of grief am I in today?” Now the stages of grief is a concept that was famed by a theorist named Elizabeth Kubler Ross and has now taken many forms and definitions. Some key points of the theory are that the stages of grief can cycle in any order and you may not hit all of the stages. The stages can last as long as they want and grief/loss can be about anything. Yes, grief can come in all shapes and sizes. If you take time to reflect on your experiences throughout the pandemic, you may notice you have cycled through some of the stages listed below. Here are some questions and statements that may come to mind at various stages. What stage are you experiencing in this moment?
Shock - Have you seen the COVID numbers? I tested positive?
Denial – How is this real life? Is COVID even real?
Anger - F*&# this! Oh great, ANOTHER thing I can’t do! Are you kidding me?
Bargaining – I promise I’ll just go to this one concert and then that’s it.
Depression – I seriously have no energy for this. What’s the point of trying?
Acceptance – This is just the world we live in right now and it's hard.
These stages are filled with emotion or lack thereof and can sometimes leave us feeling isolated. Just as we live through our personal grief, we can also feel the world’s. Greater society and community has come together through sourdough starters, tik-tok dances, frontline worker discounts AND created animosity through empty grocery stores shelves, 4 hour wait times for testing, and the endless debate on vaccinations and mask mandates. COVID 19 is the evil twin of New Year's Eve. Instead of a 10 second countdown filled with hope, we are left counting the days of a seemingly endless pandemic and nothing but mixed emotions. We are roughly 2 years into a pandemic that has gained cute nicknames like The Rona and The Panini, and we don’t know what is around the corner for our health and safety. The weight of our individual emotions and the weight of those around us can feel overwhelming at times. I can not assure you an end to the Panaderia, but I can say that you are exactly where you need to be.
our feelings are valid, and the world IS with you.
Dani Marrufo is Latinx, lesbian woman who is passionate about supporting Latinx, BIPOC, and LGBTQIA+ folks. I am constantly navigating the intersections of my queer identity & religion/spirituality. She is also very excited about helping poly and queer-identified partners to feel more secure in their relationships, communicate effectively and compassionately, and bridge any relevant cultural differences to have increased curiosity and enjoyment in their partnership.
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