Spring is upon us, with all of its weather whiplash of 70 degrees and sunny, and then hail? At least that’s the case in Southern California. And with spring, I feel a general eagerness to change and transition with the season. Growing up evangelical Christian, part of spring meant preparing for, and then celebrating Easter. This blog is for all of those who have experienced religious trauma, church hurt, and/or spiritual wounding and are looking for a way to incorporate some of the Easter traditions in a new way this year.

celebrating easter & navigating religious trauma

Let me first talk about the cons of Easter. In my house, it meant getting dressed up and a ton of hairspray to keep my curls tight. I do enjoy getting dressed up, but the stress of getting three girls all put together typically put my mom in a tizzy and more often than not, there was fighting about being late for church in the car before we got there. Those aren’t the fondest of memories, and it tends to reinforce the belief that I have to put on a “front” while at church. We are meant to be “picture perfect” for church, no matter the cost.

Also, there can be some very harmful parts around Lent and Holy Week. I know that Lent can be especially triggering for those who have disordered eating, and then are pressured to “give up” something as a way to “be more connected to God.” For me, there was typically a lot of shame attached to Lent because I was never able to keep my Lent sacrifice for the duration of the holy season. 

People call me the Reframe Queen (or maybe that’s just my own trademarked name), and I want to make clear that for me, reframing a situation allows for me to hold the both/and. I don’t want to utilize toxic positivity, because that has already been weaponized in the church as spiritual bypassing. I want to be able to hold the parts of my past through the lens of a reframe because that allows me to find the gray. Finding the gray is one of the biggest parts of healing from the rigidity of religion! 

trauma-informed ways to celebrate easter

So, what Easter can be for me is a fresh start. It’s part of spring and celebrated close to Spring Equinox. There is liveliness and usually an incorporation of greens and plants and earth (as with Palm Sunday). I love that church can be a place to hold and center community, Easter can be an invitation to see folks that you haven’t seen in a while. And there is such a celebratory feeling with Easter! I love seeing kids get excited about finding Easter eggs and how older generations are feeling revived with the liveliness of the day. I’m grateful to have found a church that is queer affirming and progressive in the way that we will be having an egg hunt during the service, as well as offering an inclusive and not converting message around hope and healing.

For those who are not planning on attending church on Easter, that is totally fine! You are allowed to go slowly through this journey of healing from religious trauma. In fact, that is one of my biggest encouragements to those healing in this way– go slow. Trauma makes us feel like we have an urgency and are required to respond quickly. But there’s no rush! You don’t need to respond to your parents’ texts or calls around Easter with any speed, you don’t need to impulsively buy a new Easter outfit, you don’t need to go to an Easter lunch with family! Go slow. 

Easter can mean whatever you want it to mean. It can represent rebirth of yourself—who are you this year, in this season? Who do you want to be known as in the community that you are currently working on building? It can also represent stillness and an invitation to be outside, to be with others who feel and think like you. So, I may encourage you to be intentional this weekend. Make plans with friends who also are not going to be doing anything with family this Sunday. I find that in the transitional time in healing from religious trauma, it’s best to do something with others rather than feel the isolation and frustration of time by yourself, while looking at what others from your past are doing for the holiday on social media.

Overall, I want you to feel liberated to make choices for yourself this Easter. I want you to be able to go to a church service if that feels nostalgic or right for you, knowing that it doesn’t have to be a spiritual awakening or the start of a new religious chapter. I want you to be able to make the choice to not be with family and spend time outside with friends instead. I want you to be able to see the new Godzilla versus Kong movie instead! Bottom line: you have agency. You get to view and make meaning of Easter in whatever way suits you this year. You’re allowed to change, which to me, is one of the most encouraging messages about spring.

Caitlin Harrison is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, social justice advocate, and a feminist.  She works with individuals, intimate relationships, and families. Caitlin is a sex positive therapist with a special interest in the integration of sexuality and spirituality, women’s empowerment, and eradicating narratives of guilt and shame. She is passionate about working with couples because every partnership can be deepened, stretched, and more pleasure-forward.

Utilizing the relationship between client and therapist, Caitlin embodies hospitality and humor in her work which allows an inclusive and collaborative space to share all of life’s ups, downs, and in betweens. Overall, her work is focused on ensuring that you feel safe coming home to yourself. Caitlin feels at home with a cup of coffee in her hand, a bouquet of flowers nearby, and music at the ready to dance to.

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