By Gaby Ramos, AMFT

As a Highly Sensitive Person, I have found it incredibly rewarding to be in community with my fellow HSP’s. I have listened and read about their unique experiences and have benefitted from identifying with others who share and further appreciate their sensitivity. My hope is that I can offer that same validating experience to highly sensitive people in our very own community at Kindman & Co.! 

Elaine Aron’s research on highly sensitive people, has been pivotal in developing awareness for and furthering the conversation around the sensitivity trait in our society. In her book, The Highly Sensitive Person, and throughout her research, she uses the term ‘does’ to describe the traits of highly sensitive people. I’d like to offer my insight on what those characteristics look like for many of us, as well as offer some of my own perspectives and experiences! 

D - Depth of Processing. We HSP’s often process information much more deeply. Making decisions can take more time for us, but hey, we certainly try to make a conscious, well thought out, effort to understand our options. Since we take more time than others to make decisions or respond, sometimes this may make us feel like we are different or wrong, but I believe this is our unique way of checking in with what feels right to us - and there’s no greater feeling than staying true to ourselves! 

O - Overstimulation. We HSP’s tire more quickly and tend to avoid intense situations that cause us to feel overwhelmed. That party of 50+ people? Yea, we might not end up going or leave early. When too much information or outside noise comes our way, we tend to feel distressed. Take for instance, an email you receive from your boss. They share a lengthy to-do list with a time frame on when to finish it by. Per HSP feelings, we’re bound to feel overwhelmed just by the anticipation of what is expected of us, and when it is due. I have found that pre-planning is an incredibly useful skill for us HSP’s. We may anticipate receiving those lengthy emails every week, so maybe we schedule a time in our day to read it through carefully, break down the to-do lists into systems, and contribute to it one day at a time. By the time that deadline comes, we are feeling less overwhelmed and more at ease! 

E - Emotional Reactivity and Empathy. We also have stronger emotional reactions, causing pleasant or unpleasant situations to be felt much deeper. We relish in the anticipation of feeling joy and satisfaction. I once cried happy tears at a dinner with my partner, just from one taste of buttermilk fried chicken and maple bacon doughnuts. I was in awe of how delicious this meal was- to me that felt like pure joy! We also have greater activation of mirror neurons which causes us to feel a stronger sense of empathy towards others. 

S - Sensing the Subtle. What is often apparent to us HSP’s, may be missed or go unnoticed by others. Because we deeply take in the information from our environment, we are often hyper aware of non-verbal cues from those around us, or feel the effects of changes in our immediate surroundings. Clutter in my office? No thank you. 

Although these are key characteristics of highly sensitive people, it is important to understand that our background, experiences, and personalities are all vastly different. If you identify with the trait, you may have often felt misunderstood or different. We may not be aware of our sensitivity, but perhaps always notice our overwhelming feelings of changes or distress. My hope is that I can help folx connect with the strengths of this trait and help fellow HSP’s feel empowered by feeling more seen, heard, and understood. 

For more information on the HSP trait, visit: https://hsperson.com 
Take the Highly Sensitive Person self-test here: http://hsperson.com/test/ 

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Gaby is offering a group for Highly Sensitive People. Click here for more information and to sign up.

Like this post? Check out our other posts for Highly Sensitive People and offering support for overwhelm and big feelings! On Highly Sensitive People & Overcoming Feeling Misunderstood and On Navigating Change & Making Decisions as a Highly Sensitive Person.

Gaby Ramos is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, a movement educator, and a researcher at heart. Gaby works with individuals, couples, families, and groups to support and explore a genuine experience of self. She is especially interested in the high sensitivity trait, mind and body, shame, and the impact of immigration and acculturation. 

Gaby can also be contacted directly at gaby@kindman.co