Lately, I’ve been asking my clients to make more moments of reflectiveness and awareness throughout their days, ones where they are able to intentionally notice specific thoughts, feelings, and sensations. I’ve been asking them to pay particularly close attention to the moments that feel the most tedious, laborious, or even unpleasant. Most of us want to overlook the challenging or painful moments (myself included!) and hope to quickly breeze through them in our day. If you try to pay attention to them though, a lot can be learned from these instances. I hope that by the end of reading this, you will feel inspired to do savor these moments as well.

a therapist’s reflection on challenging emotions

I spend several moments throughout each day noticing what worrisome things come up. Maybe it’s a panicked thought such as, “Oh shoot, I forgot to email someone back!” or it’s the embodied sensations that follow: my stomach wretched in a knot and my shoulders tensed high up toward my ears. These feelings of great unease are the catalyst for my belief that it’s important to check-in with intentional awareness. 

My body craves to be soothed in order to find calmness and peace. I realized that when these stimulating moments would arise, I would double-down on pushing through my everyday tasks, waiting until I finished whatever it is that I was doing, and only after would I make the effort to take care of my needs. I would finally allow myself to lay in bed, watch reruns of The Office, or aimlessly scroll through social media after doing a bit of yoga and meditation. I was confounded by my desire to be fully present with all of my emotions, but refraining from actually allowing myself to do so. 

In response to my confusion, I’ve challenged myself to become curious about my inner process and to mindfully explore the moments when unpleasant emotions are being felt. Like most people, I relish in moments of elation, pleasure, and confidence— but, of course, we know that those moments are not always happening! I want to invite you to begin to reframe your experiences so that you can embrace the less pleasant experiences with more ease—acknowledge them, learn from them what you can, and ultimately, grow. We don’t have to constantly be looking forward to arriving at that place, we just have to know that it is possible, and we will be there soon.

mindfulness exercise for challenging moments

This is going to require some reflection, but I invite you to think about moments throughout your day (or week), in which you have felt the need to rush through something in order to get it done quickly. Does the work you do require a great deal of mental capacity, which leaves you with less than enough mental bandwidth for anything else? If you can, scan your body for the physical sensations that arise as you reflect back to those moments. Does your body feel tense? Are you gripping anywhere? Do you notice any feelings of hot or cold building?  Are you being met with feelings of avoidance? Sit in these moments for a bit, and then I’d like you to think about what would help you cope in that moment. What helps you to de-stress? What support do you need to start to refuel yourself? Make a list, or at least a mental note of these remedies.

Here’s what you do next: remember.

Remember exactly what those murky and exhausting moments are. Recall how they occupy your headspace and how they tense your body. Make these memories a visceral experience, but know that this time you have a balm at hand. And then, unwind. Do the very thing that soothes you! 

Cherish every bit of this process. Although life can be hectic and weigh us down, you are beginning to learn how to find more moments of ease amidst the chaos. Enjoy.

Gaby Ramos is passionate about the process of becoming and knowing oneself and she believes that as our self awareness increases, the quality of our communication improves; fostering self-esteem, confidence, and resiliency in our relationships. She is mindful of the unfolding process in the present moment and take a gentle yet active approach in helping individuals recognize and embrace a genuine experience of self. As you collaborate, she will support and help guide you in being an embodied participant of your present emotions.

Gaby brings her inherent values of cultural awareness and diversity to the room with her. She works from a relational, culturally sensitive, and embodied perspective. As a highly sensitive person and former national and international professional performer, she strongly enjoys helping individuals access their creative potentials.

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