Did you read my colleague Anna’s blog on the need for more complex resolutions and get inspired, like I did? Are you deciding that after a year that may have broken you or made you feel hopeless, this year was going to be one that you would choose yourself? And in choosing yourself, maybe beginning therapy became your resolution. I am so proud of you; pursuing therapy can help you increase self-esteem, garner new perspectives in relationships and life transitions, and reconnect your mind and body.

However, beginning something, especially something like therapy that requires a significant time, emotional, and financial investment, can be really scary! In this post, you will find information to help you feel more prepared as you begin therapy. I want you to better understand what it looks like to start therapy, how to participate in a consultation call, and what to expect in your first therapy session.

the process of starting therapy

This first step to beginning therapy takes insight and a belief (or want to believe) that it is okay to prioritize yourself and your mental health. Let me affirm this step—you are worthy of help, betterment, and deeper relationships. People choose to begin therapy for so many reasons. Some concerns inspiring you to reach for therapy might be:

• Finding yourself in the middle of or having an upcoming life transition

• Relationship difficulties with a partner

• Recognizing unhealthy family patterns

• Feeling stuck or unmotivated

• Increased anxiety and/or depression

• A (recent or not so recent) break up

• Loss of a loved one (whether from death, or a relationship that has expired)

• Low self-esteem and/or wanting to feel empowered

• Feeling not good enough or like you struggle to conform to societal & cultural expectations

• Cyclical issues coming up between you and your partner and finding no resolution

• Living through a traumatic experience and feeling disconnected from your vitality

Here’s a myth I want to debunk: you don’t have to have a clear reason to begin therapy. Typically, it helps to have a motivation, however, therapy is a space for you to make connections and access a more fulfilling life. So, once you’ve decided to begin, it’s helpful to know where to look for a therapist.

where can i find a great therapist?

A great first place to start is checking out the many online directories available to you. At Kindman & Co., we particularly love Inclusive Therapists and Therapy Den, as both work to further social change by connecting people to culturally competent, identity-informed, and accessibility-conscious therapists who affirm their clients’ experiences.  Both have options to filter by issues you’re experiencing, therapist identity, insurance, telehealth offerings, etc. Some additional inclusive directories we recommend are targeted to specific aspects of one’s identity like: Therapy for Black Girls, Latinx Therapy, Therapy for Queer People of Color, National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network, Black Virtual Wellness Directory, and more!  In fact here’s a blog post by Briana Hollis that compiles the “Ultimate List of Therapy Directories” and highlights the client populations they serve.

Another resource is asking your friends you know to be in therapy; ask them about their experience and ask if they would recommend their therapist to you or if their therapist can provide any referrals for you to try. Once you’ve found a few therapists that seem like they could be a good fit for you, feel free to research them even more. Most therapists are on social media and/or have written blogs so you can get a feel for their voice and values (like the one you’re reading now!).

what goes on in a therapy phone consultation?

Next might be the intimidating part—you need to contact a potential therapist. Therapy is an investment, so finding a therapist that offers free consultation phone calls helps you to know that they value supporting you to find the right therapist for you. Here at Kindman & Co., each therapist has a “Schedule a Complimentary Consultation” button on their webpage, which makes it easy to quickly schedule a phone consult.

Most consult calls will be a conversation between you and the therapist determining if you are a good fit with each other. Once you’ve set up a consultation phone call, take a breath and consider the following as ways to prepare for the call. Consider these questions:

1) What is bringing you to therapy?
2) Are there any important qualities for your therapist to have?
3) Do you have a preferred therapeutic style or approach that you’re looking for?
4) What, if any, expectations or concerns do you have in starting therapy? 

These questions will help guide you when the therapist asks if you have any follow up questions or concerns. In my consultation calls, I like to tell clients that working with me will involve utilizing embodiment, a social justice lens, and that our relationship will be the most important tool. 

Lastly, I encourage all prospective clients to really interview me as well! Here are some additional questions to consider asking if they aren’t already covered during your conversation:

• Have you ever worked with someone like me or someone that is going through what I’m going through?

• Do you feel confident that you can help me?

• Do you believe that taking an anti-oppressive stance is important in therapy?

• What are your rates and can I use my insurance?

If you’re feeling comfortable and confident of initial fit, you should schedule your first session! After scheduling, you will likely receive an email confirming the proposed time and date of the first session as well as the necessary paperwork to fill out prior to the session.

what happens in an initial therapy session?

In the first therapy session, the initial chunk will cover the administrative bases. This includes going over all the paperwork you filled out and discussing if there are any questions or concerns. Your therapist will go over what the limits of their confidentiality consist of and if they are an associate, like myself, they will explain what it looks like to be practicing under supervision.

Then, I liken the first session to a first date—it may be a little clunky but you and your therapist may talk about what’s going on right now or some important relationships in your life. Your first session will most likely not get thaaaat deep. This is the time for you and your therapist to start to meaningfully get to know each other and build rapport, which is crucial for the work that will happen between the two of you.

Please know that nerves are completely normal. Personally, each time I meet with a new client, I’m a little nervous too! I am eager to know how this relationship will feel and what pieces of myself it will require of me. As your therapist, I love meeting you right where you’re at so that we can begin this journey of finding authenticity together.

you’re ready to start therapy!

So, have you become better prepared? Now you have some insight into what it looks like to begin therapy, which includes finding a therapist. Your reason for beginning therapy could be one of the few named, or something else altogether. And, fortunately, there are a multitude of resources available to you to help you find the right therapist.

Then, there will be a consultation phone call where you and your potential therapist will discover if you are a good fit for each other. If it seems like this is true, a first session will be scheduled. During your first session, you will cover information you signed in the paperwork as well as some legal jargon. And then, you and your therapist will begin to build the rapport that will be the main tool to facilitate change. 

This is a process that you are not alone in, let’s begin together.

Caitlin Harrison is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, social justice advocate, and a feminist.  She works with individuals, intimate relationships, and families. Caitlin is a sex positive therapist with a special interest in the integration of sexuality and spirituality, womxn’s empowerment, and eradicating narratives of guilt and shame. She is passionate about working with couples because every partnership can be deepened, stretched, and more pleasure-forward.

Utilizing the relationship between client and therapist, Caitlin embodies hospitality and humor in her work which allows an inclusive and collaborative space to share all of life’s ups, downs, and in betweens. Overall, her work is focused on ensuring that you feel safe coming home to yourself. Caitlin feels at home with a cup of coffee in her hand, a bouquet of flowers nearby, and music at the ready to dance to.

THERAPY SERVICES AT KINDMAN & CO.

We are here for your diverse counseling needs. Our team of therapists provides lgbtqia+ affirmative therapy, couples therapy & premarital counseling, grief & loss counseling, support for artists /creative types, therapy for teens & young adults, group therapy, and more. We have specialists in trauma, women's issues, depression & anxiety, substance use, mindfulness & embodiment, and therapy for therapists. For therapists and practice owners, we also provide consultation and supervision services! We look forward to welcoming you for therapy in Highland Park and online.

GET HELP NOW

If you are interested in therapy with Kindman & Co. and would like to learn more about the services we have to help you, follow these quick & easy steps:

1. Schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation with our Care Coordinator.

2. Get matched with the therapist who’s right for you.

Start feeling more supported and fulfilled in your life and relationships!