You’ve probably heard it before: it’s important to feel your feelings. But how?? I know, it’s really hard to sit with our feelings, especially when they’re uncomfortable and we haven’t really been taught how to do so! Because capitalism benefits from us not feeling! As I have been working with clients, I have been trying to get creative around how to better access feelings and how to incorporate our bodies into our work more. One great way has been through dance. Want to know more about why dance is an essential form of movement to help feel your feelings? Keep reading!

why do i need to feel my feelings?

So much of therapists’ work is to deprogram how society, family units, and systems of oppression have taught us to repress our feelings and become numb to our bodies and our needs. One of the first steps in that work is to be able to acknowledge and identify our feelings. The more we are able to identify the feeling, the more we are able to learn how to trust our bodies. Because the cycle of emotions tends to go like this—an action occurs, it can be physical, emotional, or mental, and it leads to emotions.

For example, someone pinches your arm. The emotion arising could be the physical pain felt on your arm, the emotional association of betrayal, and the mental link of surprise. Often, folx respond with something like, “Ow! That hurt!” This response is the expression of the pain felt, which is great. However, notice that the emotions of betrayal and surprise were not explicitly expressed. Expressing that emotion allows the feeling to not be trapped inside. If someone did not allow themselves to express the emotion for a repetitive amount of time, the body learns to keep that emotion and it can turn into a bevy of manifestations.

A few examples of what you can experience when you do not express & let go of emotions:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Stress

• Muscle tension and pain

• Nausea and digestive problems

• Appetite changes

• Fatigue and sleep problems

So, if we are able to identify and acknowledge the feeling, our bodies still need some support to release those feelings. You can think of it as an emotional response cycle-- (1) an event or action occurs, (2) we work to identify the feeling, (3) we then express it through words, and then (4) something else needs to happen in order to bring our bodies into the mix. This is where dance comes in. Dance allows the body to move and flow in an intuitive way and it has massive benefits around healing our mental health.

the mental health benefits of dancing

Here are some of the mental health benefits of dance:

• Improve overall mood, attitude and self-esteem through the ability to let loose. 

• Ease depression and anxiety by allowing you something to do to increase your ability to thought-stop, as well as releasing dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins in your brain.

• Boosts cognitive performance and possibly decrease risk for Alzheimer’s.

• Help to process unresolved trauma by allowing yourself to be present and to learn how to trust your body to move in intuitive ways as well as incorporating bilateral stimulation.

Well, that sounds like more than enough reasons to get up and dance! Here’s some ways that I think it can be most beneficial to incorporate dance into your healing process. First, try to identify any emotion that you’re feeling. Then, try dancing after your next therapy session, after a fight with your partner/friend, after a difficult conversation with your family member, in the middle of a long work day, or on a Sunday afternoon when you’re feeling those Sunday scaries. Notice what you’re feeling before the dance sesh and then notice how you feel in your body afterwards.

“All these raw emotions flowing through me got me electric
Now my mind is open with the music, it's automatic.”

-Icona Pop, Feels In My Body

Find a safe space to begin this practice as the hope is to release feelings of self-consciousness and doubt. Start out with one song and then go from there! Below are a few songs that are on my dance-it-out playlist. I hope they help as you continue your journey towards healing!

Some on-the-nose songs about moving your body and healing:

• Superbloom by Misterwives

• Feels In My Body by Icona Pop

• Everything Is Gonna Be Alright by Infinity Song

• Better When I'm Dancin' by Meghan Trainor

• Old Me by Betty Who

• Healing by Fletcher

• Dancing On My Own by Robyn

General, great, “feel it in your soul and dance it out” songs:

• Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine

• Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine

• IDGAF by Dua Lipa

• Hard Times by Paramore

• Transparent Soul by Willow

• Stronger by Kelly Clarkson

• S.O.B. by Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats

• Set Fire to the Rain by Adele

• Good as Hell by Lizzo

• Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars, Mark Ronson

• Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn

If you’re looking for an excuse to take a break, here’s one right now: Play one of these songs and start dancing!

Caitlin Harrison is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, social justice advocate, and a feminist.  She works with individuals, intimate relationships, and families. Caitlin is a sex positive therapist with a special interest in the integration of sexuality and spirituality, womxn’s empowerment, and eradicating narratives of guilt and shame. She is passionate about working with couples because every partnership can be deepened, stretched, and more pleasure-forward.

Utilizing the relationship between client and therapist, Caitlin embodies hospitality and humor in her work which allows an inclusive and collaborative space to share all of life’s ups, downs, and in betweens. Overall, her work is focused on ensuring that you feel safe coming home to yourself. Caitlin feels at home with a cup of coffee in her hand, a bouquet of flowers nearby, and music at the ready to dance to.

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We are here for your diverse counseling needs. Our team of therapists provides lgbtqia+ affirmative therapy, couples therapy & premarital counseling, grief & loss counseling, group therapy, and more. We have specialists in trauma, women's issues, depression & anxiety, substance use, mindfulness & embodiment, and support for creatives. For therapists and practice owners, we also provide consultation and supervision services! We look forward to welcoming you for therapy in Highland Park and online.