Full disclosure: I love dreams. 

This in part comes from my training as a clinical social worker, which was based in psychodynamic theory. Not be confused with psychoanalysis, psychodynamic theory comes from Freud’s lineage, but it’s less based on our Id/Ego/Superego, and more focused on in the idea that we’re shaped by our early relationships, and that parts of ourselves can live in our unconscious mind out of our awareness. From that perspective, dreams can be interpreted as disavowed parts of ourselves, unconscious desires, things our conscious mind doesn’t feel safe enough to feel, etc.

I no longer practice exclusively from a psychodynamic lens, and could write a whole series of blogs about the problematic nature of some of those theories when considering race, culture, gender, sexuality, ableism. (If you haven’t yet, I also recommend Caitlin’s blog about the kind of relational therapy we do practice here at Kindman & Co). I don’t think dreams are necessarily windows into our psyches, or that they always say much about us at all.

But I do still have a soft spot for them! I love when clients share them with me because I don’t think we have to take dreams literally to find meaning in them. It’s like reading a novel or watching a movie—whatever meaning you make from the story is the meaning. You get to decide. 

I think how we interpret our dreams means as much as the interpretation itself, and I love exploring this creative process with clients. To me it’s like tarot, astrology, enneagram, whatever—a new venue for understanding something about yourself. Who cares if it’s capital-T True! 

So here are some categories and questions to guide you down the rabbit hole that is dream interpretation. Just remember—it’s only meaningful if it’s meaningful to you.

dream recurrence

Is the dream recurring? Have you had some version of this dream before? If you’ve had a dream more than once, I’d want to explore why that story keeps popping up, and how you explore your own agency in the dream. Do you do the same thing every time? Why? Have you been dreaming this dream since childhood? Do you remember the circumstances around the first time you had the dream?

Side note about nightmares: recurring dreams and nightmares can be trauma-related, and may feel intrusive/frightening/threatening—if this is the case, I highly recommend sharing this with a therapist so that they can support you in exploring trauma-focused therapy and/or support from a psychiatrist. Good sleep is very important for overall mental health and wellbeing.

emotions in dreams

What are you feeling while in the dream? Is it congruent with the story? If it’s not congruent, where is that emotion coming from? Are you still feeling it when you wake up? Are you allowed to emote in the story of the dream? Do the other characters respond to you?

What we feel is always important, but I think sometimes dreams can help us explore emotions in ways that feel less affronting because they aren’t “our” emotions. I also think that dreams are often where we metabolize the emotions of our environment (Remember the COVID dreams phase? Collective trauma processing, anyone?).

symbols in dreams

What kind of stuff is in the dream? What kinds of metaphor/symbolism/interpretation can you make of the stuff or world of the dream? Is it a familiar place? A hybrid? Was it supposed to be a thing (e.g. where you live), except it wasn’t that thing at all?

This is one of the areas open for the most wild interpretation. Why was your mom a chest of drawers? Why was the carpet red instead of blue? Go wild! Explore! Free associate! You never know what kinds of stuff you might uncover here (or not). It’s just for fun, friends.

characters in dreams

Who was in your dream? Did you see their face? Would they talk to you? Were they the version of themselves that they are in your real life? Did you wake up feeling the same way toward them that you felt in the dream?

This is relevant in nearly every dream, but I think about this especially with clients experiencing grief. How our lost loved ones appear in our dreams can open up lots of feelings about where we are in the grief process.

dream narratives

Does the story make sense? Is it familiar to you? What is the pacing of the story in the dream? Do you feel you are the main character, the narrator, or just an observer?

This goes back to ideas about agency and power. Of course it’s your mind that’s invented this alternate reality, and I find it often generates a lot of emotion to explore how you’re allowed to show up on that stage.

I’ll end with a note for those of you who think you don’t dream—you do! Everyone dreams. If you don’t remember them, you can explore what you feel upon waking, what lingers when you close your eyes for a moment after you hit the alarm. Or maybe one day you will remember a dream—and then the question will be why that one of all the dreams? 

Mysteries abound! Get weird! Ask all the questions!

I don’t have any answers, but isn’t it fun to hypothesize? 

Anna Kim is an Associate Clinical Social Worker, a writer, and an adventurer. Anna works with individuals, intimate relationships, families, and groups to support growth and change. She is especially interested in grief & loss, identity & authenticity, and attachment, but appreciates all the infinite, complicated parts of being alive.

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